Perceptions and Deceptions

"I have no desire to make windows into mens souls" Elizabeth I

Neither do I. Damn was she right. I also have negative desire to look into any man’s soul. I wouldn’t mind touching his heart maybe have him touch my heart, learn more about him, but delve into his soul, his heart of hearts? No thanks. I truly have no idea where most men are coming from. I guess all women suffer from this at certain points in their lives/relationships. I was thrown for quite the loop with the last horny toad. Not only was he an incredibly anxious horny toad, he was a disgusting racist. My vision was clouded by his pomp and circumstance that I didn’t pick up on the evil racism until it was almost too late. This is man with a black soul, a soul I want no part of. Long story short he is a Jew hater. Never thought I’d meet one of those. I'm not talking American History X racist - full on white power. No a business man, who did not look or act the part. After the first disgusting and racist remark thrown my way I responded with “Whoa, easy there, you can’t be serious in that statement, next thing you’ll be telling me you’re a Holocaust denier”…His response “Well not nearly as many Jews died as claimed, the numbers are all blown out of proportion”. Yeah……..Black soul indeed.

Monday night while walking Gert I was pleasantly surprised when one of my neighbors stopped me to chat. She is an older woman who I totally pegged as the mean disgruntled Mrs McCluskey of my ‘hood. In three years the few times I have seen her she has always had quite the scowl on her face. The scowl always tells me to AVOID AVOID AVOID. There is usually drama of a sort behind a scowl. Well wouldn’t you know, as we usually do find out whenever we stereotype in our heads I was wrong wrong wrong. I had a lovely chat with Kathy and realized after chatting with her I totally resented the world and my neighborhood a few short months ago. “How come no one talks to each other, why don’t people smile on my street, where is the sense of community and togetherness. Well of course I wouldn’t feel or see any of those things without opening my own mind and heart to them. On Sunday while walking Gert in the evening I noticed all the cute little trick or treaters out, spoke with several of them. It warmed my heart to see a young couple go all out decorating their yard, the guy hid in the bushes and was scaring the little ones as they approached the door. The peels of little kid screams and laughter was awesome. Talk about an overwhelming and warming sense of community.

Mindfullness is definitely getting back on track. The big dipper has been my friend every single day. Coocoopants now wakes up at 5 am no matter what so I’m getting stars galore. I’ve been very fortunate in getting to see the sun rise sun over the mountains TWICE this week. When I say rise I mean I watch it full on as a tiny speck and wham it turns into a blazing ball of awesomeness. I saw Gert make a new funny face, talk about a moment.