so not into it

I'm not being a grinch, I'm not anti Christmas I'm just not into it. I have negative motivation to do anything Christmas-y. I'm saying this as I sit in Starbucks attempting my little yearly tradition of writing out my Christmas cards. I'm so not into this. The Christmas music is doing nothing for me. No warm fuzzies, no excitement about this most wonderful time of the year.

Bull fucking shit. I get no joy out of this. I get if there were more little ones around me, if there was a significant other (or even hope of one of those) maybe I would be into it. Reality is I'm not. Fuck the fucking traffic because I live near two malls. I was over seeing poinsettias and red/green/silver/gold pine leafy shiny displays back in september. I've already heard the Chanukah song too many times and I live that song. I borrowed a step ladder to get my Christmas stuff out, do it think I'll take it out of the attic? No I really don't. I can't get into it.

If I was into it I wouldn't think right to having to put all the crap away. I'd be exited at the thought if decorating and feeling 'festive' nope, nothing.

I'm not angry, I'm not resentful. I still heart Elf with all my heart. I'm not asking anyone to understand or care. I'm just not into it.